I love you, Goobye
by Sighcoe
Summary: ShunXSatoru pairing. When Shun breaks-up with Satoru, is it really because of Saki or is there something more behind those calloused words spoken? Read and find out. Warning, BL, proceed at your own risk.


A/N: My first Shin Sekai Yori fic so please forgive me if there's any inconsistency.

WARNING: BL, ShunXSatoru pairing, grammar and/or spelling errors. Proceed at your own risk.

Pairing: Shun and Satoru, side Shun and Saki

**Mood/Inspiration Songs: **

I love you Goodybe by Celine Dion

I'll Say goodbye for the two of us by Expose

* * *

**I love you, Goodbye**

By: Sighcoe

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People who didn't know Shun, people who didn't understand and people who had been blind about the reality between his calm and sometimes cold exterior, Shun Aonuma was a cruel person. More so after they learn his abrupt break-up with Satoru Asahina; his first romantic relationship, his childhood friend, teammate, best friend.

Satoru was a well love classmate, what's with his cheerful and energetic personality. Besides his own group, he was well accepted by others and thinks of him as one group-mate apart their own. It was never hard to be around him since he emitted warm and comfortable atmosphere even though sometimes he was bit callous with his jokes as though he was already exchanging tale with his closest of friend and thus his words were never filtered. His attractive looks and more than normal Psychokinetic ability didn't help either with his popularity.

Nevertheless, it was not implied that Shun was disliked by all. He was, after all, the most promising PK user in their generation and a handsome boy to boot. He had a calm aura surrounding his quiet and peaceful personality. He may not be as friendly as Satoru, but he was admired by many.

No one, except maybe a chosen few, had been surprised when Shun and Satoru became a couple. After all, the both of them were the closest male friend within their group and Satoru never hid his pursuance over Shun the moment they step their teenage years. It was a long enactment for Satoru's part since Shun appears to ignore his confession and continued treating him as a friend and nothing more. But his perseverance and patience with Shun into having an intimate relationship with him paid off when he was somewhere between 'losing hope' and 'fighting for his love' moment. To say that Satoru had been overjoyed during that time was an understatement, for him, it was a feeling indescribable that he thought he could actually fly – without using his PK of course.

If a couple of Group One's acquaintances -or more - knew about Shun and Saki's attraction to each other, they never voices or question it out to Shun when he agreed to be with Satoru. They believed that Shun was not a ruthless person as to have a relationship with his best male friend while loving someone else. Everyone knows that Shun values his friends, more so those friends within his group that he had known since he was very young. It would be impossible for Shun to wager his friendship with Satoru for something as petty as a 'cover-up' with his feeling toward one beautiful Saki Watanabe.

But if no one doubted it, Satoru had. He was after all Shun's best friend before anything else, and with that comes the knowledge of all Shun's secret and hidden wants. Besides that, he was also one of Saki's closest and oldest friends, and even with their inconsequential argument every now and then, he knew Saki had more than just an infatuation with his best friend. When he chase after Shun's affection, it was more so of being honest with himself than anything else. He had thought back then that Saki would contest with him. That was the reason he never stop going after Shun. He had waited for her to claim what was hers, given that from the start he had prepared himself to accept defeat.

When Shun finally responded to his advances, Satoru was actually a bit confuse and had distance himself a little from Shun wondering why Saki remained quiet all those time. It was not to say that he was not in love with Shun, he was, but he knew without a doubt that Shun and Saki were crazy with each other, although said craziness had been kept bottled so long, that maybe they no longer knew how to open it up.

And during those time, when he was detaching himself to Shun, it was Shun who started pursuing him ending with a passionate and firm confession that he was in love with Satoru and thus, there was no need for him to change his mind to be with Shun as more than friends.

Satoru believed him because Shun never falsify over anything nor would he risk their friendship over a pretense feeling.

He had enjoyed the months he shared with Shun, seeing as the dark haired teen had been a very thoughtful, loving and considerate boyfriend. He had never caught Shun stealing loving gaze towards Saki like he always did before nor had he seen any sign of ardor Shun had tried to hide every time he looks at Saki. Shun treated her the same way he treated Maria and Mamoru. The longing look, the accidental touch, the whispered exchanges were gone.

The first time they consummated their relationship was something Satoru could not explain. Yes it was painful, awkward and yet something close to electrifying. At that time, he had seen Shun's eyes full of passion but most especially 'love' that he never expected to be so suffocating, drowning and so earnest as he stared at him. Only at him.

The months almost turned into a year and their relationship had grown stronger and happier. Satoru thought it would never end. He thought they would be together forever until old age. But a few months after their new school term, things changed.

The changes were very little, almost inconspicuous but Satoru saw it. He was aware but never openly asks Shun about it, after all, Shun was still very affectionate with him and never disregard him. But Satoru noticed how Shun eyes subtly travelled over Saki when they pass by them, and there were tinged of yearning and ache accompanied those looks. And when they kissed over the hill, Satoru might not have shown it, but he knew that while he was kissing Shun, he was looking at someone behind the tree, the one where Saki was. He was far from daft, but Satoru pretends he did not noticed, feign ignorance over his lover's change of heart.

By the time Shun broke up with him, Satoru was already maddeningly in love with the dark haired teen. But he did not show hurt he was, how shattered his heart had been. Shun's poor excuse and his utterance of 'pretend lovers' wrecked his whole body with agonizing pain, but Satoru was still a boy, a young man, and he would not grovel and cry and plead in front of Shun. He would not show him how upset he was, because in truth, he had expected it. Long before their relationship. Just before they became a couple.

For Satoru, it was only postponed. And those wonderful months he had shared with Shun were merely borrowed time. A gift given to him by Saki and Shun. Because he was a dear friend, and they wanted him to be happy – even if it was only lent. But that gift became a knife that cut him so so deep, because the love he had before became so fervent now. So intense that he would have fought back if he knew he had a fighting chance against Saki. But there was none. He knew it, and had accepted it.

Satoru had tried to pretend that he was not affected with what happened, he even try to immediately go out with someone just to show Shun there was nothing for him to worry, that he had moved on, and that Shun could be with Saki and be happy – really honestly happy. It was also his way to show his classmates that it was not Shuns fault, that their breaking up was consensual, and that Shun needs not to be directed with hateful glares.

Nevertheless, Shun never made a move to be with Saki. Instead, he became withdrawn, quiet and cold. He always appears tired as though something big was weighing on his shoulder. When Satoru together with Saki, Maria and Mamuro managed to drag him with them one afternoon, Satoru could not kept himself from asking what was wrong. But Shun never answered him, he remained silent as though deep in thought. It worried Satoru, not only because he still loves the young teen, but also because Shun was still his very dear friend.

It was four consecutive days when Shun did not attend class that made Satoru really anxious. There was something heavy and constricting in the pit of his stomach that told him something was wrong. Very very wrong.

After class, their group decided to look for Shun and ask anyone who knew what might have happened to him. He was paired with Saki and the clues they got only bothered Satoru more. He knew how troubled Saki was, he knew that she would look for Shun the whole night if she could, but he advised her against it. It was dangerous and Satoru cares for her safety.

When the night came, Satoru agonized at his bed. His heart was still in pieces and yet it was fretting over Shun's whereabouts. His hand was clammy, his heart was beating fast with worry and his thoughts were filled with Shun. He knew sleep would evade him with all the fearful things that bombarded him whenever he closed his eyes, thus he decided to take a walk and clear his mind.

He met Maria when he neared the lake. There was uneasiness within her that caught Satoru's attention. Deciding to comfort his friend, Satoru called out the flying girl, and just before he could ask her what was wrong, he found himself being tackled by Maria to the ground. Her body was soft and warm against his, her head was lying on his shoulder and her arms were locked around his neck.

"Maria," he said. It was more of an acknowledgement than anything. The young girl body trembles and soft whimpered followed.

"What's wrong?" he asked, worry lacing his tone.

"Shun… Shun might… might die. The tainted cats are after him."

Maria did not need encouragement, instead she narrated everything what she and Mamuro had witnessed that afternoon. She also told him that she had been at Saki's house and divulged the same story. When Maria left, Satoru remained where he was, laying speechless atop the grass, the same spot where he and Shun shared their last kiss.

Pair of violet eyes remains locked at the dark midnight sky; he knew he should be running now while desperately looking for Shun. But was Satoru the person Shun wanted to see? He knew Saki was already out there somewhere, defying all odds to save her beloved, so did they need Satoru to be with them as well? His heart says yes, that he needed to save his friend if not anything else, his mind says no, because he knew it was too late and that the two needs this time to be together - alone.

Something would happen tonight that would change their lives forever, and yet he knew he could not alter it, not him, not Satoru. His presence would only put more grief to the lovers that never had been; to the two people he cares for so much, to someone he was so in love with and yet had been filled with regret for not being able to say what he really felt to the person he loves more than anyone or anything. He didn't know what the reason was, he didn't know what was happening, was it from their sin two years ago? Was the punishment been put on hold up until now? But why Shun first? Why wasn't Satoru? He didn't belong to anyone now. He was the odd one in the group. The lone one that could be disposed. Why Shun the prodigy of their time? Why?

Tears fell, unashamedly, like a waterfall over a cliff. His breath became rugged, but no sound escaped his lips. Satoru covered his eyes with his arm; his body shakes as his free hands clasp the grass at his sides. He would never see Shun again, Satoru thought, he would never see him smile even with somebody else. Shun was his best friend, his most important person and yet their separation had been awkward at best. If only he could return time, he would not have pursue Shun, then maybe their last days together had been more pleasant, more memorable than their painful break up.

When he opened his mouth, a single word came out of it. It was full of sadness and yearning and a hope that it could be heard by that person and that person might know Satoru still loves him deep within his very core.

"Shun."

It was less than a minute after his utterance when Satoru felt it. The air around him shifted and there was an overpowering force that only a very strong cantus could have done. When he removed his arm covering his eyes, he saw nothing had changed, except maybe how the leaves that supposed to be flying in the air was now frozen mid-air and the sway of the trees was halted as well as everything that should have been moving around, it was like as though time had stop altogether.

Satoru should have panicked, but there was something so warm and comfortable with the atmosphere that he could not register the phenomenon as threatening.

"You're crying."

It was a statement coming from a voice so familiar that Satoru readily sat wondering to where the voice was coming from. And there he saw him, wearing the same clothes he had when they shared their last kiss – a kiss Satoru believed had been responded only because of Saki.

"Shun?" It was the only thing he could say. He was about to blurt out questions when he confirmed it was indeed his friend, but Shun eyes told him not to and that he was there for different reason and not to answer any questions.

The dark haired teen stoops in front of him, and gently so carefully wipe the streak of tears on his cheek. Satoru's eyes widen, and immediately moved his head back away from Shun's hand. He brushed his eyes using the sleeve of his jacket.

"'Am not crying. Maria just told me something crazy and I… I was so caught up thinking about it, I never thought I actually tear up over that ridiculous thing."

There. Satoru explained. It was not a lie, and very very close to the truth. When he looks over at Shun, the other boy was sporting a thoughtful and yet painful look while looking at him.

"Hey, I'm really glad you're here and all, but I wanted to know what's with you missing the class? Has something happened? Not that you have an obligation to tell me, but I'm still your best friend right that's why I'm worried so does Maria and Mamuro, more so of Saki. And will you please stop using your cantus already. I know you're good, but freezing time? Seriously Shun, stop it."

Shun though barely acknowledged Satoru's ranting and settled comfortably next to him, so close that Satoru thought it was inappropriate for an exes even if they're friends. Shun's eyes settled over him, making Satoru's cheeks warms up a little.

"What?!"

"You're adorable when you blush Satoru."

"Haah? Stop saying that! What are you, flirting with me?"

"So what if I am?"

Satoru stared at Shun for a while before quickly moving away, giving them a more comfortable distance to talk face to face.

"Are you on narcotics or something?" Satoru asked. When Shun did not answer, Satoru shook his head in disbelief. "Might I remind you that we just broke up Shun."

"I know, and I'm sorry."

Satoru stared at his friend. His thoughtful expression was still there and his eyes was filled with something that Satoru could not honestly identify, but it made his heart pump much faster and his breath uneven.

"Hey, what's done is done. And I know you did it for Saki, so I'm fine with it. You two had been dancing around each other about your feelings for a while now, and I'm quite surprised when you returned my advances knowing how you really feel." Satoru replied. It was the first time they talked about their relationship after their breakup, and even though it pains him, he managed to sound strong and convincing.

"You regret?" Shun ask. The question was spoken so soft, that if the cantus was not in effect, Satoru probably won't be able to hear it.

"Huh? Why would I regret it? I was the first one who made the move, the one who pursue you."

"But you said you're surprised." The other teen said seriously.

Satoru kept his gaze at the unmoving lake and answered with the same solemn tone, "Because I thought you would not consider it knowing you're into Saki already. But with what happened, I honestly think I shouldn't have done that. I should never have come between you and Saki's growing affection for each other, I should have helped you two instead."

"But what about you?" came a more grim reply.

"Well, I still have both of you as my close friend and maybe I could have move on more easily that time."

"That time? But it never happens, so what now? "

Satoru moved his head on the other side making sure Shun won't see any of his expression while he answered, "It's harder than I thought it would, because... because one's heart is not an object that our PK ability could easily fixed. But you shouldn't bothered by it, you know. I'm fine."

A gentle hand clasp Satoru's chin as it softly move it to face its owner, "Tell me honestly Satoru, why do you think I broke up with you?"

Satoru heaved a breath as he bravely met Shun's gaze. "Because you finally realized you can't be with me, and you need to be the person you truly love. As you have put it, ours had been nothing but a pretend one. I… I'm not so sure anymore if I have made you happy during those times or had put you into a stressful situation forcing you to lie every time you're with me."

"Do you think you could force me into something I'm not comfortable with, more so with how long we've been together?"

"I suppose not." Satoru answered quietly as he lowered his gaze. But Shun readily pull his chin up and stared at him with his beautiful forest colored eye. "But maybe because I'm your friend that you managed to survived that long, after all we've been comfortable with each other long before we became a… a… a couple."

"Satoru, did you love me?" The question was expected but Satoru was still off guard when Shun asked it.

He snaps Shun's hand away from his face and glared a little before answering. "Of course I did and I still do. So much that I just wanted to… to die sometimes to stop the pain, here…" Satoru said, fisting at his chest, "… it hurt so goddamned much! But I love you so much and I care very much for Saki that the only consolation I have was knowing that you two would be happy with each other. It sucks to be me, to be so in love with my best friend and yet could not even get jealous with my own childhood friend because I know they deserve to be together. Do you understand that Shun? So help me, and be with Saki already!"

"Satoru…"

"You do love her, right?"

The short silence was deafening but it was readily filled with, "Yes I do. I have always love Saki, but whatever we shared, whatever I did with you has nothing to do with Saki or anyone else. I've been with you because I wanted to, because that's what I felt during those times. I did love you more than a friend Satoru… and I still do."

"Yes Shun, like bonobos…"

"Stop it Satoru!" Shun said, this time with firmness and annoyance lacing on it. "I do love you, and I do love Saki. It's different, in a way that I would always look at Saki as someone I need to protect, to cherish, and to care for. With you, I just need to be me. With you I don't need to explain anything, because I know you would understand, you would always understand."

"Shun."

"I can't be with you anymore Satoru, I broke up with you not because of Saki but because I wanted to protect you. I need to get away with those people I love; else I would end up killing you, Saki, Mari and Mamuro unknowingly."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm turning into a Karma Demon." Shun said a matter of factly.

If Satoru was shaken with what he heard, he did not show it. Instead he look around only to see the same time frozen place but with swirling metal balls all around them.

"I need to project all of my cantus on those, else it would leak out and harm you. I'm almost at my limit Satoru since I'm with Saki too…"

"What do you mean you're with Saki too?" Satoru asked. His voice was surprisingly calm but his eyes were far from it.

"Half of my thought is with you, but my body and the rest of my mind was where Saki is. She wanted to save me, but it's too late. It's too late. I know you knew that already, I know you have an idea about this even before. How irrepressible my cantus are, how overpowering, how this thing could happen.

Satoru moved his gaze once again away from Shun's face, wondering if he could not see his face he would be less heartbroken after this. "So this is goodbye?"

When Shun answered him, his voice was smooth and gentle once again. "The last few days I had with you, I've been worried about Saki. I knew she loves me, I knew she was hurting every time she saw us together but I thought she needs to toughen up, she needs to understand that I can't be with her. That if I don't belong to you… I'd belong to deaths arm soon and she should learn to accept that. She needs to saw it, she needs to let go. If I had been with her instead of you, do you think she would recover if I go now? I chose you because I knew you could keep it together not because my feelings for you are shallow. Saki, she always needed someone to be with her to give her strength, and I intend to watch over her as long as I could. You on the other hand can live your life without someone always watching your shoulder. I'm not saying this because you're a male and Saki's not, but because you're Satoru and she's Saki. I loved you, still loves you and will forever love you. I don't want to go without telling you that, I don't want your last memory of me as something as callous as our last talk."

"Shun."

Again, it was just a whispered that escapes his lips. His eyes, blurry with unshed tears. His heart beating painfully on his chest. His soul, crying over the nearing loss of its half.

"Don't cry for me Satoru, she's already crying for the three of us. I can't stand it anymore."

Satoru nodded, quickly brushing away the tears from his eyes. He stared at Shun's face, and bravely put a smile on his lips even though he was about to whisper a deathly phrase, "Goodby-."

Shun covered Satoru's lips with his own; completely ceasing whatever farewell word he had to say. The kiss was soft and sweet, and when Shun pulled back he murmured, "Not yet Satoru, not yet. Please be with me for the last time, share me your warm tonight."

-0o0-

Their love making was gentle, painstakingly slow and very satisfying. It was as though the two of them was trying to memorize every subtle movement they make, every kiss, every caress, every thrust and every sweet sweet moan coming from one another. In Shun's eye, Satoru could only see him and only him, just like before, just like how Shun was the only one for him. The only lover he would have, the only one who would forever hold his heart.

-0o0-

When Shun open his eyes he knew it was already time. His cantus, as strong as it was could no longer freeze the time as much as he wanted to. He had bought him three hours at most to be with Satoru, and while it was three hours within the warped zone his cantus had made, it was only ten minutes at most in the real world.

His cantus was already leaking so much that if he stayed longer with Satoru he could harm him already. He looked at Satoru sleeping peacefully besides him. A small smile fitted his lips, he needs to say goodbye for the two of them. He would not wake up Satoru, it might crumble his will to self-destroy. It was a hell when he broke up with him, he did his best to sound unconcerned when he was delivering his break up speech that's why he readily left after it. To see Satoru cry would make him frail, and that was not acceptable because that was the best thing he could do to protect him and the rest of his friend.

Detangling himself at Satoru's warm hold was already hard that he used the last ounce of his control over his cantus to dress them both if not he would not be able to stop himself to roused the other teen and make a sweet love with him again. Tenderly, he touches Satoru's face, gingerly tracing it with his finger and when it reaches his lips, Shun quietly planted a last kiss of on Satoru's lips.

"Goodbye Satoru. I love you."

**FIN**


End file.
